Well shit, Peter. After this week.
At midnight December 21, the Internet offered its own commentary on the apocalypse. Thank you, Internet.
“11:15, restate my assumptions: 1. Mathematics is the language of nature. 2. Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. 3. If you graph these numbers, patterns emerge. Therefore: There are patterns everywhere in nature.” —Maximillian Cohen, Pi
I love social media. I’m just sick of being my own paparazzo. And I know I’m not alone.
We are tweeting, updating, posting, liking, pinning, IM’ing, DM’ing, +1’ing, YouTubing, and Googling now more than ever.
Ask yourself - How many times did I check <<insert favorite online social network>> today? I did. And I didn’t like the answer.
There were many other days I had asked myself that same question and was okay with it. The ROI was there – and it wasn’t just the false self-affirmation I got every time someone responded favorably to me online.
For most of us the ROI for personal online social networks is apparent. Exciting friendships are forged, business deals made, reputations built, and new things learned every day. Social media is like a psychological orgasm that leaves us begging for more.
It’s not that I’m getting sick of the kinds of things I’m posting. (But if you are, does Chris Brogan have some great suggestions for you on that.)
Perhaps it’s that I’m more concerned with feeding my channels than actually experiencing any of what I’m talking about online. Learning anything new with my bare hands. In the real world. Is my brain suffering because of it? Will my creativity bloom even further by taking a break from my personal networks?
After talking with a good friend about what he described as social media “malaise” – he suggested I stay off of my online social networks until the first day of summer, June 20. We both had projects we were planning on diving into this spring and, in a show of solidarity, agreed to go off the social media grid with me. The idea – while completely terrifying – guaranteed an ROI. For a few months, every minute not spent on an online personal network can be put toward my project. As an added bonus, I would have greater insight into my online networks I would not have gained otherwise.
James Altucher’s recent post “How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found” – a thought which sounded really great when I read it – got me thinking that perhaps by going off my social networks people might forget about me. Like suddenly my relevance to the rest of the world will diminish because I am no longer in the apparent context of the online conversation.
Will I be in essence faking my own death by going off the grid? A pseudocide of sorts?
Clearly something must be wrong with me to deliberately abstain from my online social networks for a while, right?
Let’s just leave it at that.
Christmas is almost here and you’re screwed because a.) you haven’t started shopping for your wife/girlfriend b.) you haven’t shopped enough c.) that girl is hard to please d.) you suck at gift giving.
Thought I’d volunteer some items on my personal wish list (and couple just for fun) to help inspire you. Make sure that even if you didn’t really spend a lot of time selecting the gift, your girl thinks you did.
The Spa disclaimer —— Don’t get me wrong - I haven’t met a girl yet who didn’t love the spa gift certificate purchased by her man. Want to score extra points? Put enough money on the card for her to take her friend. Even if she doesn’t use it to bring a friend and spends a luxurious day by herself, either way you win. Be sure to ask the spa for a pricing list and match the card accordingly. If that’s too much hassle, one call to your local spa should be enough for them to help you out.
The Wish List
These Isotoner smarTouch Stretch Leather and Spandex Gloves are great for any girl with a smart phone. Now when she opens it be sure to tell her how you want her to stay warm and keep those beautiful fingers warm. Then kiss her hand. Do it. Be suave. Own your Dos Equis guy moment.
What’s more romantic than a journal inspired by Shakespeare for your beloved to write all of her deepest secrets and desires? Take it up a notch and inscribe it with something (brief) that will make her heart melt. Protip: If you’ve never seen her wear pink try one of the other colors they offer in the collection.
Women love handbags. Why not show your sensitive side with this pretty little number? Want to surprise her? Put some concert tickets in the bag. BAM. Done. Gift and a date later. Sure to satisfy - both of you.
If your girl is a geek she’ll love this drum machine t-shirt. If she’s a girly girl don’t risk it. You don’t want her thinking you bought her something that’s really for you.
She can wear this very elegantly or with a pair of jeans. The choice is hers. Either way you win on the price. Don’t forget to mention you bought it on Etsy, she’ll think you spent an hour picking it out. If you’re into a naughty Christmas you can match it with this.
Try not to enlist her friends. There is a high probability they will rat you out for cutting it so close to Christmas. Going solo on this will not only impress the hell out of her and her friends, but you won’t have to worry about any spoiled surprises. Good luck Romeo. With how many days you have left to shop you’re going to need it.